That’s an order!
You may chuckle a little bit, but I mean it. Give yourself grace.
When it comes to friends and family, especially your kids, husband or wife, we often try to provide the best for them. Cooking this amazing recipe you just found on Tasty, switching to more natural cleaning products or going to Target with the goal of only getting paper towels but come rolling out with a cart full of clothes and toys for you kid.
We’re all guilty of that. And there’s nothing wrong with it, in fact you do it because you want the best for them.
We give others the best of ourselves and the best of what we can offer, often at the expense of our time, energy or even happiness.
Not doing so because we’re forced, but because we simply just want the best for them! And it makes us happy, right?
But, how do we treat ourselves when it comes to our grief of our child?
We know there are three truths of grief.
There are multiple stages
Everyone grieves differently (especially men and women and that’s hard pill to swallow)
Grief is not linear (there is no start and stop)
Your grieving process can not afford to provide others the best of yourself.
As the parent, your grief is what you have left of your child. Take care of it.
When you grieve for your child the world changes. Everything changes. Not only do you carry the heaviness of grieving for your baby, but you grieve your old self and what was before. How things used to be. Instead, you are shoved and forced onto this dark narrow road that very few have walked. Using up all of your energy to desperately put one foot in front of the other.
Do not change your grieving process for the sake of others.
From someone who has lost her baby, I am giving you permission to give yourself grace to grieve the way you need to.
If you can not go to a baby shower, because it reminds you of a life you dreamed of, then don’t go.
If you can’t walk past the baby section in Target without bursting into tears, then avoid it.
If you need an extra week or month off of work, then do it.
Don’t feel like your grief needs to be pushed aside and force yourself to be who you were before.
Your well being, mental health and grieving process is far more important than other people’s happiness.
People may treat you differently, and that’s ok. They may not be your friend anymore, and that’s ok.
Do not be fake for others, but be real for yourself.
Give yourself grace.